Once Upon a Time,

There were two girls. They were good friends and one night they decided they wanted to go to the theatre and watch a movie, because they were left out of the families conversation...

It was almost ten o'clock in the evening when they quickly grabbed their purses and jackets and headed for the car... The two girls talked and talked for a solid half hour.

As they were getting ready to turn into the parking lot of the theatre they saw that there were only about four cars in the parking lot. The girls began laughing, because they thought that they would end up having the whole theatre to themselves.

They parked the car and climbed out, ready for the adventure of watching the movie. The girls briskly walked to the entrance of the theatre... they quickly pulled on the door, but to their surprise it was securely locked. They looked inside, but there was no one to be seen. They knocked on the door, no one heard or came. They walked over to where the times were listed for the showing of the movies... The last showing of the movie was at seven thirty o'clock in the evening. Needless to say, the two girls were rather upset and disappointed. The girls walked back over to the door and talked about how upset they were... With disapointment written across their faces, the girls walked back to their car and climbed in.

Not knowing exactly what to do, they drove to Wal*Mart to look for a movie. When they got to Wal*Mart, it almost seemed deserted... However, they decided to be grateful for the fact that they got a parking spot that was super close to the entrance...

The girls saw a beer bottle sitting in the parking lot, so they decided to take some of their stress out on the bottle. They both gave it a good kicked and headed for the doors of Wal*Mart. As they approached the "Enter" door... they saw a shopping cart in front of it on the inside as a sign that the doors for that enterance were closed. The girls had to laugh, even though it didn't seem all that funny at the time. They walked to the other enterance and went inside, because their bladders were full and they needed to use the restroom.

Once they were finished washing their hands one of the girls couldn't find her phone and she had no idea where it was or what had happened to it...

As they walked around the store, the whole time, the girl was worried about her phone. Finally they left and went to the car to find her phone. Such a relief to both of them.

Always an adventure when you're looking for something fun and exciting to do.

The two girls might not have had the night go as they had planned, however, they did enjoy themselves and enjoyed just being together.

Oh, dear sleep,

Because you're gone I want to weep.

My thoughts are blurred,

I hope my words aren't slurred.

My eyelids begin to fall,

As my bed, to me, does call.

It is so hard to focus,

I promise this isn't bogus.

* This was inspired one day because I was really tired and I needed a way to stay awake. :)

Family members can be intimidating,

Nevertheless nothing less than amazing.

My brothers stand strong and tall,

Doing their best to make sure that I don't fall.

My sisters after me do follow,

Which makes it hard, at times, to swallow.

I love my mom who gives me hugs,

Which eases the chore of cleaning the rugs.

My daddy is one I can trust,

The love I have for him will never grow rust.

These tears are trying to escape.
Desperately I try to hold them in
,Yet they desire to rush down my face in a cascade,
As I'm often reminded of the dreaded sin.
Oh how hateful is the violation that takes place because of rape.
You wish, from you hands, the blood would fade,
That rests upon your hands from the innocent life you took.
My heart breaks because the eyes and flesh do lust,
If only you would take your life and willingly in His word encrust.
There was a new baby born today
With only a mom to raise him and say,
"I love you, son, but is there hope for you to be better than your dad?"
Oh, why does this make me so sad?
These memories, forever, will haunt,
As Satan continually taunts.
I feel the need to hide,
From all of these emotions inside.
I feel the need to runaway,
Yet I know that will never repay.
I have been placed here for different reasons,
However, I do not know for how many seasons.
In this city, I'm stuck in the middle,
Only praying that I never will piddle.
I've learned to copy and paste,
Because time it has saved,
And there is no time to waste,
Along my narrow path which has been paved.

Somewhere in the middle
Life becomes a riddle.
No longer does life make sense,
Like a bad taste in our mouth,
We try to rid it with a rinse,
Realizing things are only heading South.
Why can't things that are confusing
Somehow become amusing?
Why do we have to be so mature
When it comes to the future?
What happened to the days gone-by
When from our lips we never heard a sigh?
Those days have disappeared into the past,
Oh how they went by way too fast.
Now we're stuck in the middle,
Where life is a riddle.
We can open our mouths and complain
Or we can bite our tongues and refrain.
Tomorrow is almost here,
Don't think of it as a pain,
Or something insane,
Most importantly don't live it for one moment in fear.


With tears in my eyes,
I try to run from all of the lies,
That others have set.
If only we had met,
You could have been my crying shoulder,
Together, I know, we could have been stronger than a bolder.
But I couldn't find you and since you never came,
I'm afraid nothing will stay the same.
Now, I see, I'm all alone,
I try my best not to moan.
With no one by my side,
I'm not so sure that I can hang on for the rest of this ride.
I feel as if I'm secluded in a cave,
Trying to surface from the strength of the powerful wave.
I'm searching for hope,
Only finding something that helps me cope.
I don't want some medicine that's pure,
I need only a cure.
Then like a flash in my mind,
I felt a presence from behind.
Never before had I felt a current of love,
So strong, it could only be from above.
As the sun began to set,
The truth and I met.
I had walked away from the light,
Only to become distressed by the evil of the night.
Never had I been alone,
But when I walked away,
I could never see where the light had shone,
And He had been by my side through all of the decay.
When I lean on my Lord,
He will always be my Sword.
For me, He always will provide,
And under His pavilion will I hide.


I love to hear you laugh
And I know you do it for my behalf.
I love to see you smile
Because that's what pushes me to go the next mile.
I love to feel your hugs
they're so much better than hot cider in mugs.
I love when I get to hear you jabber
Even when it turns to absolute blabber.


By my side is a friend,
Who stands by me in the wind,
Even as I continually bend.
I don't deserve the love
They share from above,
But rather a hard reality shove.
While some give discouragement,
They stand behind me with encouragement.
Though I may take you for granted,
And at times I've been slanted.
This I know for sure,
Even though it's not a cure,
I love you,
More than the sky is blue.

To Share.. Or Not To Share...?

Thoughts. They seem to be consuming me right now. Maybe I should put this on here.. then again, maybe I shouldn't. Today I was surrounded by my family. People I love. People who love me. Yet, today, for some reason, I felt the most alone I've felt since I've been home. This always seems to happen and I really have no idea why. I always get so excited when I know I'm going to be able to see my family and then it's like when we're all together I feel alone. I feel like no one really knows who I am. I feel like when I talk to them or try to share things with them they don't really care. They listen for a minute and then to some extent tune the rest of what I have to say out or they seem to find an excuse and get up and leave. What am I doing wrong? Why do my friends listen better than my family? Family is for life. Friends can be for life, but so many are here for a season. Why do I feel that I can't be who God wants me to be with my family? So many questions. The hardest part: I don't have any answers. I feel lost. I also haven't smiled with my eyes recently. That makes me sad. I know I'm truly joyful when I smile with my eyes. *Sigh.* Why can't I just be normal?

Tonight I was reading my Bible.. this helped me:

Psalm 33:13-15
The Lord looks from heaven;
He sees all the sons of men.
From the place of His dwelling He looks
On all the inhabitants of the earth;
He fashions their hearts individually;
He considers all their works.

*I love knowing that even now, as I type this, God is looking down on me. He is considering all of my thoughts and works. It's crazy for me to think that He is actually "fashioning my heart individually." God cares about me so much, it's incredible and He cares about you.

Psalm 33:20-22
Our soul waits for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
For our heart shall rejoice in Him,
Because we have trusted in His holy name.
Let Your mercy, O Lord, be upon us,
Just as we hope in You.

*For me, sometimes, it's so hard for my soul to wait on the Lord. It makes me smile to know that He is my help and shield. May we continue to trust in His Holy name and may He allow our souls to wait for Him.

Three weeks of the month of June I worked at a Christian Summer Camp working with inner city kids. It was amazing. It was extremely challenging. I grew in my walk with God. I grew closer to friends. I was faced with incredible opportunities. I was faced with things I couldn't handle. I was challenged to look to God for everything.. or to walk in my own strength.
As I came home it was hard for me to allow my emotions to express themselves. At first it was like I was just shutting my emotions off, because I didn't feel like working through them. By the grace of God, friends praying for me as well as talking me through things, and writing. I now feel free. I can feel happy. I can feel sad. I can feel depressed. It's so much better to feel all of these emotions than to just shut them out. We were made to feel things. Not to shut them off.

Here's the poem I wrote that helped me begin to "feel" my emotions again. If you prayed for me, thanks. I appreciate it with all of my heart!


My heart feels sealed,
Because, with emotions it is filled.
As I lie here awake,
I wish that I could forsake
The emotions that I cannot find
That reside in my heart and mind.
As I close my eyes,
Faces and memories come to play.
However, all I desire
Is for these tears to fall.
I don't understand their reasons to stall.
I need to be set free,
So that I can begin to see,
What lies ahead.
No matter what is said,
I will press on.
I have only one plea:
Oh, please, rescue me!
Loose me from these chains,
Of my emotional pains,
So that I can be free
To sail across the sea.